Four decades of healing history, the top experts in an often-misunderstood field, and the most advanced approaches to address a wide range sexual addiction and behavioral disorders.
Our comprehensive program addresses sexual addictions, unresolved trauma, and co-occurring issues, going beyond symptoms to explore root issues and lay the groundwork for lasting healing.
Group and one-on-one therapy are just the beginning. We employ a wide range of methods and modalities, including valuable peer support, to address each person’s unique needs.
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Change takes work, but it can’t be harder than living with unresolved addiction, trauma, and other disorders. If you or someone you love needs help, we’re ready and waiting.
When our culture hears about a person with sex addiction, often the automatic assumption is that he (or she) must like a lot of sex. Some may even diminish the condition altogether and easily wonder, Is sex addiction real? In light of the nature of their behaviors, those struggling with hypersexuality are also often labeled as perverted, creepy, or strange.
These distorted perceptions aren’t just limited to the public, but are often among the core beliefs that hypersexual people have about themselves. As patients engage in treatment and begin to understand themselves better, they often begin to realize that their hypersexual behaviors are not solely about the sex itself, but about some larger constructs.
As a treating therapist, I’m aware from the moment a patient enters my office that the signs of sex addiction have less to do with sex, and more to do with limited coping skills for what is often an intense amount of pain. This is not to say that the hypersexual behaviors are excusable, but it does help us to shift the focus from the stigma of sex addiction onto its possible underlying causes.
Behind the scenes, a person addicted to sex is often dealing with something else that’s driving their compulsive behavior, such as a traumatic past, depression, or another mental health condition. Instead of seeking healthier ways to manage these struggles, they may pursue sexual fantasies, pornography, and risky sexual behaviors that are ultimately inadequate coping mechanisms. And because they’re inadequate, they have to do them again and again to find relief, which leads to the downward spiral of sex addiction.
Behind the scenes, a person addicted to sex is often dealing with something else that’s driving their compulsive behavior, such as a traumatic past, depression, or another mental health condition.
However, with treatment for sex addiction, you can learn better coping skills for dealing with your struggles. Participating in group therapy, pursuing a new hobby, exercising, and practicing stress management techniques like meditation are just a few examples of alternative coping strategies that can help.
For many who struggle with sex addiction, your problematic sexual behaviors develop early in your life as a way to deal with significant stressors or trauma. For example, compulsive masturbation can often develop from early childhood experiences of learning to self-soothe in a chaotic home environment. Initially, this coping mechanism may not have been problematic. However, for someone who becomes addicted to sex, the behavior can become an issue if they do not develop a broader range of coping skills as they grow. This is just one example of the many ways in which engaging in normal and pleasurable sexual behavior may develop into problematic sexual behavior.
It is important to recognize that, in our most functional human state, we use a variety of coping mechanisms, including positive sexual behavior, to regulate ourselves, and that is not necessarily pathological or problematic. What can become compulsive behavior, and perhaps problematic as well, is when this is one of our only coping mechanisms to regulate stress and anxiety over time.
As treatment providers, we work with patients to look at both the sexual behavior itself and at what may be driving it. Those struggling with sex addiction often have an immense amount of shame and guilt around their sexual behavior, so it’s important we help you understand any connections that may exist between specific sexual behaviors and your past.
However, some of your unwanted sexual behaviors are more about activating a part of the brain that allows you to numb out, dissociate, fantasize, or even feel deprived in order to provide some temporary relief from your emotional pain. In these cases, we would want to spend some time focusing on why you may choose these ways of responding and what other coping skills you may need to develop in order to feel better about yourselves rather than perpetuate the cycle of toxic shame you experience after engaging in your addictive behaviors.
As mentioned earlier, those struggling with sex addiction can easily struggle with shame and guilt over their hypersexual behaviors. But why is that? Contrary to assumption, you are likely not necessarily enjoying all the compulsive sexual activities you’re repeatedly participating in. As the high from your actions wears off over time, you may need to engage in more hardcore or risky sexual behaviors to achieve the same dopamine hit you once had. This could look like purchasing sex from strangers, visiting strip clubs, engaging in affairs, watching illegal pornography, and so on.
When the dust settles and the collateral damage is done, your actions can not only greatly hurt the people you care most about, but also go against your own personal beliefs and values. This leads to ongoing shame and guilt, not only for what you have already done, but over what you can’t seem to stop doing over and over again. Consequently, you may continue the hypersexual activities that caused you shame and guilt in the first place as a way to self-medicate.
As long as shame and guilt persist in your life, it will be difficult for you to overcome your addiction. But when you choose to pursue treatment for sex addiction, you can start addressing these negative emotions, replacing your shame and guilt with connection and self-compassion.
Because of this vicious cycle within sex addiction, addressing any toxic shame and guilt is a critical component of sex addiction therapy and long-term recovery. As long as shame and guilt persist in your life, it will be difficult for you to overcome your addiction. But when you choose to pursue treatment for sex addiction, you can start addressing these negative emotions, replacing your shame and guilt with connection and self-compassion.
Overcoming sex addiction isn’t just about reining in your sexual behaviors; it’s about healing your addiction’s root causes. That’s why sex addiction treatment is so important to long-term recovery: It focuses on healing the source of your struggles, not just your symptoms. If you are considering sex addiction help, there are several treatment options to consider, including:
The vast majority of patients we work with express an adamant desire to stop engaging in the use of alcohol, drugs, and to stop acting out sexually. Many of them can also identify numerous failed attempts to stop their compulsive behavior.
Before we make assumptions about what the behaviors associated with sex addiction mean, it is worth stepping back and considering the bigger picture. Moving towards lasting change with sex addiction means that we must examine both the hypersexual behaviors themselves and the stories surrounding them. This opens the door for compassion, which is an essential component of the process of healing from sex addiction.
If you or someone you care about is struggling with sex addiction, our team at Gentle Path at The Meadows is here for you. Reach out today to learn more and get started on a path to healing and freedom.
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