male making unwanted advance at woman

Sexual Offending vs. Sex Addiction

Written By: The Meadows Web Team

By Stephanie O’Brian, EdS, LPC

We live in a world infused with sex. It is nearly impossible to turn on the television and not be inundated with sexual images. Yet despite things of a sexual nature permeating so many facets of society, there are still areas which are so vastly unclear when it comes to all things sexual. Our culture is more informed and educated about sex than any other in human history, but are we empowered with all the knowledge we really need?

Understanding Sex Addiction

What is a sex addict? Is that even real? What is a sex offender? Are sex addiction and sexual offending linked? The answers to these questions are important to know. As researchers increase studies on sexual addiction and behavior, they’re finding sex addiction to be more and more common. Is that because there is an actual increased number of cases or people? Or are we just talking about it more? It is hard to discern. Regardless, the fact is sex addiction exists, and so does sex addiction treatment.

In its 11th edition of the International Classification of Diseases, the World Health Organization included compulsive sexual behavior disorders (CSBD). This addition ended a decades-long debate regarding the legitimacy of such a diagnosis.

Sexual addiction may still be hard for you to wrap your mind around because it does not simply mean having an abundance of sex. Psychologist Juliet Rohde-Brown described it in US News & World Report as a monster where its “jaws of addiction latch on and pull an individual to behavior that can be self-destructive as the individual attempts to reduce the tension of overwhelming arousal.”

Sexual addiction may be hard for you to wrap your mind around because it does not simply mean having an abundance of sex.

Scott Davis, executive director at Gentle Path at The Meadows, has provided insight into the roots of sexual addiction and how it differs from other addictions. “The reason why it’s a little bit different than some of the other addictions is because the trauma happens earlier in life,” says Davis. “There are only a few ways that that a child can actually soothe themselves.” These self-soothing behaviors can take shape in many ways, but one of them is sexual. Davis describes sex addiction as “a highly ritualized behavior pattern that has some sexual outlet.”

Understanding Sex Offending

“When we say offenders, it is people who are actually engaging in offensive behavior, who are acting out towards people." Scott Davis

So then how is sex addiction related to sexual offending? Does having this ritualized, compulsory addiction automatically make someone more prone to becoming a sex offender?

Firstly, we should clarify what a sexual offender is. “When we say offenders, it is people who are actually engaging in offensive behavior, who are acting out towards people,” says Davis. “Basically, they’ve taken their hurt and their shame and are now acting out toward people.” In short, a sexual offender is someone whose actions cause harm to another person.

Being a sex offender involves more than just engaging in illegal activities. Davis notes, “Offensive behavior doesn’t have to be illegal, but it certainly can be.” Some examples of sexual offending are rape and assault, but also harassment and voyeurism. A key component to any sexual encounter is affirmative consent, which Leda Health defines as “exclamatory, aware, and elective sexual consent.” Sexual offending is always offensive, but it is not always law-breaking.

Sexual offending is always offensive, but it is not always law-breaking.

A study published by the Journal of Behavioral Addictions revealed the rates of compulsive sexual behavior disorder to be substantially lower among sex offenders versus sex addicts. Though this may surprise some, sex addiction is not the link to offending. To better understand this, Davis explains, “Most sex addicts will actually act inward, whereas an offender is actually acting outward.”

“People who engage in sexual harassment and predatory behavior may do so out of narcissism, grandiosity, and a sense of entitlement,” says psychotherapist Nicholas Kardaras in US News. Those who offend do so out of an abuse of power. Yet those wrestling with sex addiction typically do not intend to cause harm. Sex addicts are fighting an internal battle every day that permeates various aspects of their lives, often mirroring early-life traumas.

Hope and Healing for Sex Addiction

So, how can you find help if you’re struggling with sex addiction? Contrary to what you might think, it doesn’t have to be living a life void of sex. “We’re not just talking abstinence. Sex is a healthy part of any relationship; it’s a healthy part of our culture,” says Davis. He sees a healthy relationship with sex being part of the healing process of sex addiction. “I think the best way to do that is through connection. The opposite of addiction is not abstinence or sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.”

So often, if you struggle with an addiction, you believe yourself to be a bad person. But the cognitive distortions — the twisted lies you’ve told yourself since you were young — do not make you a bad person. The truth is, you’ve most likely had bad things done to you.

For those dealing with sex addiction or problematic sexual behavior, Gentle Path at The Meadows is equipped with resources and therapists to help you. Our experts have created specialized sex addiction treatment for precisely what you are going through. The feelings of shame have lingered long enough. Let us help you get rid of those chains and enjoy a life unencumbered by the weight of addiction or your past. Reach out today to learn more.

September 29th, 2023

Categories: sex addiction

© 2024 All Rights Reserved