male being toxic at work

How Toxic Masculinity Harms

Written By: The Meadows Web Team

By Stephanie O’Brian, Ed. S., LPC

By now, we have probably all heard of the term “toxic masculinity.” VerywellMind.com describes toxic masculinity as a concept that is used to define “unhealthy and often traditional characteristics or attributes associated with men.” In short, it’s when men feel the need to prove their worth by adhering to the unspoken rules of what it means to be “manly.” This could include not showing emotion, holding positions of power, earning a lot of money, protecting those around them, and more.

The Impact of Toxic Masculinity on Men

When men fall victim to the trap of toxic masculinity, they put parameters on their potential; they suppress their emotions and put undue pressure on themselves to be tough, resolute, successful, unfeeling, and unyielding. Toxic masculinity can impact men in a variety of ways. For example, it can elevate some of the following problems men struggle with:

  • Suicide risks
  • Loneliness
  • Risky behaviors
  • Use of drugs and alcohol
  • Likelihood of developing depression and/or anxiety

When men fall victim to the trap of toxic masculinity, they put parameters on their potential; they suppress their emotions and put undue pressure on themselves to be tough, resolute, successful, unfeeling, and unyielding.

The Impact of Toxic Masculinity on Culture and Society

Toxic masculinity is not only detrimental to men and their mental, emotional, and social well-being, but it is also harmful to society as a whole. A myth persists that men who are vulnerable or show emotions are weak and lack toughness. Men who stray from traditional gender roles are typically looked down upon.

As a result of these beliefs, men do not often feel as if they have permission to express themselves. They are not expected to have high levels of emotional intelligence, leading them to believe they are not intended to feel emotions at all. This, in turn, causes isolation and loneliness; it alienates men from the emotional intimacy humans need to flourish and thrive.

The current loneliness battle men are having has led to the increasing development of private boot camps. These camps are designed for men to bond over an intense schedule of historically manly events and challenges. “The inability to put their emotions into words leads to failures in relationships, leads to loneliness, leads to their seeking out these experiences,” author and psychology professor Ronald Levant told USA TODAY.

How Toxic Masculinity Manifests in Harmful Ways

“Men tend to keep so much bottled up inside,” says speaker and social justice activist Ron Blake. “This includes all the traumas and heartbreaking moments. Eventually there has to be a release. And too often that is in an explosive way.”

According to VerywellMind.com, there can be numerous effects on society as a result of toxic masculinity:

  • Domestic and relation abuse
  • Violence based on gender
  • Assault (sexual and physical)
  • Perpetual rape culture
  • Homophobia
  • Misogyny

Where Did Toxic Masculinity Come From?

For nearly all human history, men have fulfilled the roles of protector, provider, and leader. However, there is a notable shift in the early 1900s with the women’s suffrage movement and increased women’s rights. As time passed, gender equality became the goal, gender roles were questioned, and male identity was questioned alongside these changes.

“As women began to show up in places where men had exclusively dominated — boardrooms, the armed forces, Congress — men who had once felt safe to talk as they please, now felt imprisoned by a culture of political correctness,” says USA TODAY’s Alia Dastagir.

In an effort to rebuke political correctness and cling to traditional gender roles, many have dug in their heels regarding what the male identityshould” be. Sadly, the belief that men must earn their worth through providing, protecting, success, strength, and ego has caused a decay in the real human spirit within men. Men are bound in chains by social expectations that deny them the opportunity to be unapologetically themselves.  

“We must make sure that we distinguish between what’s great about traditional masculinity and feeling the effects of toxic masculinity,” says Dan Griffin, author of A Man’s Way Through Relationships. “There’s so much good about how men are raised, and we often leave that out, which causes many men to feel attacked.”

A Look at Toxic Femininity

Social expectations are placed not only on men but also on women. These societal pressures on gender roles are harmful to both genders. Healthline.com shares that toxic femininity exists through the belief that women are to possess the following characteristics:

  • Traditional family values
  • Home-based work and focus
  • Politeness and cooperativity
  • Submissiveness and docility
  • Selflessness
  • Nurturing
  • Sensitivity

In the same way toxic masculinity is oppressive to men, toxic femininity is also oppressive to women. Both extremes do not allow for the natural balance of emotions, character strengths, and life experiences to help narrate your journey; rather they stifle the ability to thrive by trapping men and women into predetermined boxes.

Undoing the Harm Caused by Toxic Masculinity

When you have been told your whole life not to cry or express your emotions, to “suck it up,” and “be a man,” that you are a failure if you are not on top professionally or financially, you end up feeling a lot of shame. Shame for your mere existence, shame for feeling as if you, in your natural state of being, are not enough. Shame in expressing who you are.

When you have been told your whole life not to cry or express your emotions, that you are a failure if you are not on top professionally or financially, you end up feeling a lot of shame.

Shame is trauma’s accomplice in wounding the human heart,” says Griffin. “The message of shame is: There is something inherently wrong with me.” 

Gentle Path at The Meadows can help unravel the chain of shame that has trapped you in life. We at Gentle Path aim to help men struggling with sex or porn addiction and any co-occurring conditions, as well as trauma related to toxic masculinity. Reach out today to learn more about how we can help you find the freedom and healing you’ve been searching for.

May 3rd, 2024

Categories: mental health

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